The red fiery DOT has landed. She has boarded ship and with a force!! Gosh, nowonder I exploded yesterday….ok, maybe it was just partially it’s fault.
Yeah. That’s all I came for. You really wanted to know huh? So how are you all? Anybody there? I’m draggin’ here at el trabajo.
K, bye.
Ok, maybe not bye yet. I can’t concentrate. There is a baby here in the office and all the ladies are surrounding him like hawks. Po’ thang, nowonder he is crying. I didn’t go up and see him because I’m just shy like that, but when I saw him passing by he did look like a cute lil baby! Awh, I can’t wait to have my very own….they’re probably going to be all dark and hairy, like me!! LMBO!! But seriously, I wonder what my precious babies will look like. *pout* I can’t wait! Ok, why the heck am I even thinking of this right now? I don’t have a husband yet, pfft, not even a boyfriend!!
Speaking of WHICH!!! You know my baby lexi that is 14 years old? Well, she has been getting a growth spurt all of a sudden, getting all tall and curvaceous and losing some weight. She is looking GROWN! I’ve been getting SUPER DUPER protective, I mean ALOT. That’s my baby and no guy better try to even mess with her!! WELL!! Let’s get to what happened yesterday. Lexi opened up with me, because hello we are very close and I actually see her like my little girl or baby sister. She told me about a boy!! *slamming breaks* She kept stuttering saying, “Frannniiiieee…why are you looking at me like that….mooomoooooooooo (she calls me moomoo)”. I told her, “Whaaaaat, I’m listening!!” LMBO!! She kept laughing and mumbling over her words. She told me is it ok to date someone? I said, “WHO ASKED YOU OUT!!!?????” Poor thing, she doesn’t realize just HOW protective I am, especially since her brother just had a baby and he is only 16 and the girl is 15. Not that this will happen to lexi BUT still!!!! You just never know.
I asked her what could she possibly be expecting having a bf? What is it that she thinks will happen? I told her don’t you even think that you will be kissing and you KNOW that this is what will happen. I said you are innocent, your heart is pure and you don’t need to be exposing yourself to all these feelings that come to your heart and body when being with a BOY!! I know!! I ain’t stupid, I went through it. She told me, “Eww, no, that won’t happen.” I looked at her like,”Come on baby, was I born yesterday?” I don’t care WHAT anybody says, she has NO BUSINESS havng a bf at this age, NO BUSINESS whatsoever. I WON’T BUDGE!!!! I will not allow her to get heartbroken, nor any boy to try to get into her pants or in any way TOUCH HER. She is young and much too innocent. PLUS!! I have put my whole heart into trying to be a christ like example for her and teach her the ways of how to live for God. She is getting there, but of course has a long ways to go. I asked her if she prayed about this, about her decision. She tried saying yes but I gave her that look again and said, “No you didn’t!!” and she admitted that she didn’t. LOL I told her don’t you lie to me alexis, I am not stupid and I can see right through you.
Later on she told me something that hurt my heart. She confided in me as to WHY she said yes to this boy. She told me that he is so cute and she can’t even believe that someone like him would even be interested in HER. Oh Lawd have mercy!! I told her, “EXCUSE ME!??? Alexis!!! You are beautiful, when are you going to realize this? No boy will EVER give you self worth, and I know this, only GOD can ever do that for you!! ANY BOY WOULD BE PRIVILEGED TO EVER HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU!!!! HMPH!!” I had to calm down because seriously, this is a real issue with her. She has NO SELF ESTEEM at all. God, I wish you all knew her and you would understand. She sings like…wow….yet she doesn’t believe in herself. She is GORGEOUS. TALL, exceptional dark skin, beautiful dimple smile and just…SWEET! I want to shake her sometimes!!! I told her please let me at the person who has made you feel this way!!!!
*sigh* She is now living with my mom down the street so you better believe that I will be watching her like a hawk even more. I pray that God gives me wisdom with her and that He speaks to HER heart as well. I told her, this is YOUR decision about the boy, but you know what can happen and most especially, ARE YOU PLEASING GOD??? He is not even christian, so that is enough to say NO. They wouldn’t even be equally yoked, it can never work out because they are not on the same page in their beliefs. You know what I am saying? You may think I am being way hard but I don’t think so. I am being careful and taking care of my baby girl. I don’t need her getting pregnant, I don’t need her having a bf every other day, I don’t need her HEART BROKEN over and over. NO!! God has a SPECIAL man for her out there AT THE RIGHT MOMENT and for now, she must just wait. Why ruin what God has planned for you?
*sigh* Alright. Let me get outta here. Toodles.

on Journaling in other ways